As I log into Facebook, again I see someone I used to know in High school not walking with Christ and not wanting anything to do with Christianity. I know some people that might read this might be like, “Is he talking about me?” I don’t know but can I share something that has been burdening my soul for about 10 years? …Thanks for the permission.
I want you to know that if you feel you are one of those person’s that I once knew years ago but now have nothing to do with me, and more importantly Christ, I want you to know what has been burdening my soul. It’s not just one person, it’s multiple. I try to describe the feeling that I get when you might come to mind throughout my day but words like sadness, burden, concern, anxiety, grievance, trouble, ache, moaning, worry just don’t describe what I feel. What I do feel is all of those words as one connected feeling deep down in my soul. Some days this feeling for you all is so intense that I will physically wake up during the night thinking, two words…what if?
What if I stayed more connected with you all? What if I was more available to talk about things of the faith? What if I was more solid in my faith so I could show you the truth, in love? What if I went along with what you wanted to do? What if?
If you think that you might come up in my thoughts, you do. You don’t just come up once in a while. You all come into my thoughts at least once a day. Especially while I am working in the back mail room putting mail into students boxes. You are there with me. Every time I read the Bible, you are there. Every time I pray, you are there. Really, it doesn’t take much for you all to come to mind day after day.
When you all come to my mind here’s what usually happen.
I begin to think about all the good times we had. There were a lot of them. But then I think about the defining moments that either changed our friendship or showed me exactly who you were when it came to Jesus Christ. I start going over what I could have done better or should have done or would have done differently. But then, the Holy Spirit reminds me that you all have responsibility for your own choices.
Then it goes into fervent prayer for your soul.
I pray that God would do anything; I mean anything, to get you to come back to the foot of the cross. I pray for your salvation. I pray that God will bring something in your life that finally helps you realize that you are lost and you cannot save yourself. I pray that God would take away the excuses that you keep using over and over again so that you fall flat on your face and the only thing you can do is cry out to God. I pray that if education has blinded you and told you the Bible is not true, that the Bible will pierce your heart because it can! Or if you are saved that you would reach out to someone to help you deal with sin in your life. They would show you that your sin is already been paid for by Christ on the cross and repent, change your mind, about how you are living and realize the only thing worth living for is Christ. I pray that if repentance happens that it would penetrate your heart and change your heart which will then it turn start to live a life that is conforming to be more like Christ.
I also pray about the days we will one day come face to face again randomly. I pray that I will have the words to say and be an encouragement to you. I pray that Christ would penetrate your soul when I share the good news of the gospel with you. I pray for myself that I would take heed to what I want for you all. I pray that I would live a life conformed to Christ more and more each day. I pray that I would read the Bible and believe in the power that is in the Word of God. I pray that whatever mistakes or sins I have made against you will be made known to me so that we can reconcile and forgiveness can happen.
Understand that I am not perfect nor will you ever meet a Christian that has it all together.
During this time of remembrance for our fallen soldiers, understand that you will never be forgotten, as long as I am alive on this earth. Understand that you will never be forgotten by the Lord and it’s not too late, no sin too big, to come back to the foot of the cross. Stop stiff arming the God who loves you, cares for you, and longs for your salvation. Life is more than what the world has to offer and you know it.
I don’t if any of this makes sense to you. This is what has been on my heart for the past 10 years. Know I remember you every day. Know I pray for you. Know I haven’t given up. I hope you hear it.
And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:13
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17
The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 2 Peter3:9